Parenting is hard....marriage is harder

Parenting is not easy. It is full of fear, the unknown, messes, tantrums, poop (am I right here folks?????) It doesn't come with a manual telling how to do this or that, it is just something you have to learn as you go, but your children...they don't know this. They just know you love them, and that is what matters.

Marriage-marriage is NOT easy. It's hard. Falling in love is easy, but changing as individuals as you go along and trying to figure out how to adjust your relationship, this is hard, but boy is it WORTH it!

My husband and I have been together for 17 years. We met when I was 17 and he was 18. I fell head over heals in love with him I think on our first date. We were engaged when I was 19 and got married four days before my 21st birthday. We were young, in love and naive to what it would take to sustain a happy and amazing marriage.

 This is something we have had to learn over the years and work hard to ensure it was done. When we got married we had big plans. I was going to be a doctor (didn't happen) and he wanted to live in a loft in a major city (didn't happen!) We knew we wanted to have kiddos and travel all over the world (we haven't made it very far yet.) What we didn't know is that life has a way of changing your huge plans.

We didn't know that my mom would die just a year later from a massive heart attack. We didn't know that my sister would be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis six months after that. We didn't know that four days after buying our house Bill would be laid off from his job. We didn't know how significant my infertility would be, or how hard it is emotionally and on a relationship to battle infertility through medications and procedures. We didn't know how hard it would be working full time (my job being emotionally exhausting to boot), me being a full time grad student and trying to maintain a relationship. We didn't know how hard it would be trying to be the best mommy and daddy ever to our first little princess, while working full time (Bill also full time in Grad School) and never seeing each other. We didn't know that twins would come along, and how hard taking care of two tiny little boys would be. We didn't know Bill would again loose his job when the boys were 8 months old.....

There is so much we didn't know....and so much more we still don't know. However we have learned that marriage is easier when we put effort into it. We have learned that we have to take care of each other, this relationship and put it first. One day our children will be on their own, and we will be back to having just each other, so making sure we don't forget how, while being mom/dad, has become a priority. We haven't always been great about this, but with growth, and age, we know now this is a MUST! Date nights need to happen. Quiet moments before bed just chatting about random things that have NOTHING to do with our beautiful babies. Talking about plans and dreams for when the kids are gone. These things are so important, but can easily be set aside as life takes over. Don't forget....in the chaos that this all started with a love that was fierce and a gift from someone way bigger than we are. Date each other, tell each other you love them and show your children what marriage is about, and why it's worth the fight!