Thankful

This year I participated in the "thankful" segments on facebook. Each day I would say what I was most thankful for. This year, what I am MOST thankful for, is that my baby boys are healthy, happy and home. Being pregnant with twins brings on a lot of joy, but even more fear. I didn't know from one day to the next if my health was ok, they were growing appropriately, or when they might come. Thankfully though, I was healthy, the boys had challenges (21 NICU days learning how to eat), but are other wise healthy, and we are all home together safe and sound. I am blessed with three amazing children, and an even more amazing husband. Thankful doesn't even seem the most appropriate word for this year, blessed better summarizes it!

 Aiden-3 mths 3 weeks

 Ella being sassy

Liam 3 months 3 weeks

Not always mom of the year...

This has been a rough week for me. It is my last week at home with the kids before I start back to work Monday, and everyone in the house is feeling the stress. Ella, seems to be the one most affected by this, and I can't say I have been dealing with it in the best way possible. Juggling three kids is not an easy task, especially when two of them are infants who "need you now!!" Between taking care of the babies, work stress for Bill, stress about me going back to work and just general craziness I fear Ella hasn't gotten the attention she also needs, and is showing this by refusing to pee. Tuesday started the craziness, after 13 hours of not going to the potty we ended up at Children's, where they cathed her. Yesterday it took a large slushie from the movies filling her bladder to the point of no return for her to go (16 hours after the cath, with no other potty time in between), and now today, again she has refused to go. I should have told her it's ok, I know she is upset and worried about mommy going back to work. Instead, and I hate saying this, I yelled at her and told her she wouldn't get to go to school if she didn't go. I felt so horrible after saying it, but after a long time thinking about it I realized something. I am not perfect. I am not the perfect wife, mother, daughter, etc. I do what I can and try to do my best, but at times I am going to fail and I can't knock myself down about it. Instead I will apologize to my daughter for yelling at her, and hug her tighter than ever before. I will spend time snuggling, coloring or doing whatever it is she needs to feel like she is getting the love she is so desperately asking for. And next time I will do better. I will praise and love her for how awesome she is, rather than getting upset she didn't go.  If she doesn't go, I know that eventually she will. She can only hold it for so long before her bladder just can't hold anymore. This too shall pass, but at least I am better now for going through it!
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No, you may not touch....

 

Liam-10 weeks

Aiden-10 weeks (below)

When Ella was a newborn I recall getting annoyed by the amount of people that thought it was acceptable to touch her. Strangers would walk up and rub her feet, touch her face, etc. My mind would scream loudly "back off you germy person, my baby is not for you to touch." Of course I would just smile and pray that it ended quickly and that she wouldn't get sick. I didn't think it would be possible, but with the twins it has gone from touching them, to touching me and taking pictures of them (yes strangers have now taken pictures of the babies.)

It has been different being a mom to newborn twins, vs mom to a newborn singleton. Ella of course was adorable, and attracted attention wherever we would go. The twins however, seem to be a hot commodity. No matter where we go we hear, "oh twins?", "oh there are two of them (yes there are we aren't just crazy people pushing around empty baby seats)", "do you have twins? (again, really. Nope we don't, we just borrowed someone elses baby, who is the same age as ours.)", etc. This weekend though, hit an all time high. We are used to people coming up to us and the babies wherever we go. When Ella and I play restaurant she now pretends to be the waitress and tells me, the customer, how cute my babies are. We weren't prepared for the lady from China who found it acceptable to touch my breast trying to figure out why I wasn't breastfeeding, then subsequently take the picture of myself and Aiden. I know that I have beautiful babies, but in what world is it acceptable to take pictures of someones child without permission, or to touch someone in an intimate area without permission.

As horrible as this all is I still find myself restraining the urge to scream, "back off" to the many strangers who approach us, touch the babies, and now have taken pictures of them. If you are a parent I know you feel my pain in this matter, if not you will some day understand.

So for now I think a new sign will be on the babies onsies that states " I know Im cute, but hands off please!" 

Growing boys....still so small

As I get ready for bed, I look into the big blue eyes of both of my boys and Im amazed at how "big" they are getting. Tonight as I write this, and listen to their little snores, I'm overwhelmed by everything that has happened over the last two months. Two months ago we were blessed with these two little men, who lived 21 days in the Nicu....two months later I got to spend another week in the hospital this time having my gall bladder removed. At dinner I experienced the worst pain I'd ever had (yes worse than labor) and decided to go to the ER. Two days later I was in surgery and two days after that back under for a scope. The pain was not fun, but what was worse was staying alone in the hospital away from my three beautiful babies and my husband. I missed kissing my sons little noses each night before putting them to bed. I missed hugging my little girl as tight as possible and telling her to have good dreams...in a small way I even missed my husband's snoring. However, being in the hospital, alone most of the time allowed me to reflect on how precious life is, and how blessed my life is. I have three beautiful babies, and amazing husband, and a church family that rallied around us to ensure we were fed, our babies were cared for while my husband attended to me, and prayed over me for safety and healing. I made it through two procedures, had no issues with anesthetic, and have healed relatively fast. I have two little guys who have grown and begun to show their little personalities. I have a daughter with the biggest heart who loves me with all of her being.

It's been a crazy two months, but a blessed two months. Aiden has gone from 4.9 lbs to 8.4 lbs and Liam has gone from 5.7 lbs to 9.6. They eat 4 ozs each meal, and are starting to smile. They follow us with their eyes and bat at their toys. They are simply amazing, Ella is simply amazing...and life is even more amazing! (top 3 Aiden, bottom 3 Liam)

One Month Old

Liam and Aiden are officially one month old. Yet their actual age is considered 0. They both look so big to us, and both are officially over six pounds. They both seem huge to us, seeing as they were so tiny when they were born. Aiden has reflux and is now on medication, which seems to be helping somewhat. Liam has been spitting up more and we suspect that he will also be started on medication. Aiden was born with hypospadias and will require surgery to fix it. (Hypospadias =the pee hole on his penis is not in the right spot) Thankfully it is minor, and surgery will be easy for him. Both boys are growing like weeds, and are more and more alert...especially at night! We love watching Ella as the big sister. She hates to see them upset and will do anything she can to try and soothe them (say shhh it's ok Im here now, try to give them a paci, or entertain them by singing a song.)

These boys are such a blessing and we can't wait to see what the next month brings.

Liam 1 month

Aiden 1 month

 Liam-1 month

 Aiden 1 month

Ella-being adorable as always!

20 days later.....

20 days .....typically do not feel like they take that long to go through. However, 20 days in the NICU with our twins, felt like an eternity. In one way we could hardly believe that the babies were born 20 days prior, but on the other hand, it felt like an eternity. We knew going into this delivery that the boys could need some NICU time, but we never imagined it could take a baby 20 days to learn how to eat. We are so thankful for the staff at Kettering's NICU, but we are even more thankful that our amazing sons are home. We had many people praying for us and their well being, and we know this helped our boys get home. We can't wait to start this crazy journey of caring for twins, and being a family of five.

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

The boys announcement. They will be mailed out as soon as we get them.

Time together

While spending time with our new baby boys, and of course our beautiful and spirited 3 year old girl is the greatest thing in the world.....today seeing the boys together, for the first time since they were born was the most amazing gift. They are a week old which seems impossible....and Ella still loves spending time with them. Today as Liam cried, she whispered "shhh shh, it's ok, I'm here." Her sweet spirit and their loving faces melt our hearts....We truly are blessed.

Some new pics of the babies

Our boys have arrived!

This week has proven to be crazy. When Tuesday came we had our week prepared. Ella and mommy were going to get pedicures on Wednesday, then spend time over the weekend with Papaw and Aunt Brenda, but our boys had other plans. Our ultrasound tech had promised us that if we made it to 35/36 weeks the boys would be over five pounds each. My measurements also lead the doc to believe this, so Tuesday night we decided to return the preemie clothes, let Ella play in the fountains at the Greene...and have a good meal at the Chessecake factory. One last family date before the twins arrival (and before the mommy/daddy date the following Monday.) After letting Ella play in and out of the fountains, we put our name in for dinner. Waiting outside I had two contractions, but since I had been having braxton hicks for a couple of weeks, approx 2 or so an hour starting around 7 p.m. I thought nothing of it and we went in to eat. As our drinks and bread arrived I started to realize it seemed like I was having more contractions that I had thought, and by the time food came I had asked Bill for my phone, and was timing them. After I noted them coming every 2-5 minutes, and lasting for approx a minute, I told Bill I needed to call the doctor. I headed to the car, to plug in my dying cell phone, while Bill got our bill. The doctor said to head to the hospital to be checked. Our first thought was, what do we do with Ella. A quick call to Ella's baby-sitter, and we had a place for her to stay. Another quick call to Lisa's dad advising him he needed to head this way. We still thought it was false labor and wanted to cover our basis. After dropping Ella off, which was pure torture, we started realizing we had nothing packed. Thankfully our sitter was also willing to go to our house and get some items, that would be much needed if it was true labor (i.e. the camera). At 11 p.m. Lisa's dad arrived, and the contractions had continued, but it was also found that I was dehydrated. The hope was with fluids, labor would stop. At 1 a.m. they advised the contractions were slowing, so Lisa's dad and his friend Bev went to stay at our house. Around 4 a.m. the contractions started back again, and by 5 a.m the nurse was asking if I wanted medications for pain. I said, yes, and when she came back she advised she had just spoke to the doc, and that I would be going in for a c-section at 7:15 a.m. Panic then set in. I called dad, and he said he would be on his way. We notified Bill's family as well. I started to realize that these babies were early, and was terrified about their lung development, surgery, and that we wouldn't be home for a few days.

Around 7:20 I was taken to the OR. I had a spinal vs. and epidural. It was not horrible, but wasn't as easy as I remember my epidural being. At 7:43 a.m. Liam came out, and a few seconds later Aiden arrived. Both crying, and getting great apgar scores. Liam weighed 5 lbs 7 oz and was 18 and 1/2 long. Aiden weighed in at 4 lbs 9 oz and was 18 and 1/4 inches long. I only saw them for a quick moment as the boys had a one way ticket to the NICU.

Since Tuesday it has been a whirlwind. Ella has been well cared for, but is getting antsy for mommy to come home. The boys continue to be in the NICU. Liam is eating more and more everyday, but through an NG tube. He just doesn't have interest in feeding at this time. Other than the feeds, he is healthy and if he could start bottle feeds, he could be discharged. Aiden was tiny. He was very tired after the 12 hours of labor, and has a PIC line (IV) in. He started feeds on Wed, but today he ate half of his dinner from a bottle, and kept it all down. We were so proud of him. I'm being discharged tomorrow, and knowing I'm leaving without my boys is killing me. This is not how I imagined things, but have faith that they will grow fast, and be home soon.

We are so blessed to have, now three amazing children, and can't wait to see what life has in store for our new little blessings.

We are over halfway there....

It is hard to believe that in just a few short weeks we will have two tiny babies in our house. Due to expecting twins, everything seems to be happening at a much quicker pace than with Ella (or perhaps it is because we are chasing Ella around and older this time!) At our 18 week check up/ultrasound we found out that we are expecting two little boys. I'm excited and terrified by this all at the same time. I was one of three girls, but I will embrace the dirty, rough and tough going, loving boys that are on their way. Bill, of course, was too excited. Since that time (six weeks ago now) we have been coming up with a nursery theme, trying to find preemie clothes, saving money back (since the doctor also burst my bubble of working till the babies came), and trying the best we can to prepare Ella for what is to come. She loves to kiss my belly and talk to her brothers. She is very vocal in telling us that she is going to feed them, and hold them all by her very self. At this point we are on the countdown. Our hope, and the doctor's hope, is that we can make it to 36 weeks. So far things are going well. I feel huge, but the babies are growing, kicking (all the time), and other than being sore and sleepy from lack of sleep I have felt great. We can't wait till the next ultrasound to see how "big" our little guys are!

So you are expecting twins...you must be excited....

Since May (well actually since Ella was six months old) Bill and I have been trying to have another baby. We always wanted a big family, and with my history of fertility problems we knew that it could take work to get pregnant with baby number two. After a year or so of trying on our own it was back to the fertility specialist. Since May we (well mostly I) have dealt with oral hormones, injection medications and several IUIs (intrauterine insemination). In December my hope was running low and we were doing our best to put it in Gods hands. This month had good results. I had three follicles (eggs) that matured, which for me never happens. My day to take a pregnancy test was the 26th. Christmas morning came and Ella was done with her presents. I decided I couldn't wait any longer. Knowing I was a day early I decided that I needed to know one way or the other. So up to the potty I went, Bill had no clue, and the test was taken. To my surprise both lines were pink almost immediately. I was in disbelief and yelled down to Bill. We were both filled with excitement, joy and utter surprise. Four days later, two blood test later we knew that I was 100% pregnant and that all looked well. It was time to tell Ella...she squealed in excitement. Then we told our immediate family (we waited for everyone else because we needed to make sure the pregnancy was going well.) Everyone was overjoyed, as were we..

Then it was time for the 6 week visit and ultrasound. I looked in anticipation and saw a little peanut with a heart beating strong. When the doctor said, "on no" I asked if it was missing a limb. The doctor then informed us that there were two babies. Both healthy with strong heartbeats. We were in utter shock. Although we new multiples were a possibility due to the treatments, we also knew that with the medications I was taking the chance of twins was 3%...not high odds. We left the doctor in shock, and called our parents to let them know. They were shocked and full of excitement.

Over the next three weeks we worried about the chance of one twin not growing, and how healthy they would be if they make it to full term.

Once the 10 week check happened, and all was well we announced it to our friends and family. We were surrounded by love and joy for our new blessings.

The one question everyone asked me was, "are you so excited." I'm not sure my response was what most thought they would hear...my response...I'm not there yet, but I will be. I/we feel extremely blessed to be expecting. I have wanted a family, siblings for Ella, etc, however I'm still full of fear. To those who have been pregnant with singletons there are still fears, but they seem to be less. Hearing that there were two started the immediate fear of, how will I be able to carry two. I barley fit Ella, little alone two bitty ones. How can we afford two babies at once. Will I have to go back to work. What will happen if they are very early, or sick, or if one of them can't grow in a way they are supposed to. Will my c-section be different, will they have to go to the NICU, how will our time with Ella change. Bill thinks even further and he has worried about them going to different colleges and graduating on the same day.

I will be excited when both of my babies are here, healthy and safely in our arms. I am overjoyed, but terrified that I won't be able to keep them safely inside until they are ready to enter this world.

So far all is well, baby a and baby b are currently thriving and doing well. They are the size they should be with amazingly strong heart beats. So far so good...just a few more months to go and then the true joy and excitement of having two healthy and  beautiful blessings will be here.

Ho Ho Ho...Merry Christmas

Christmas this year was so much fun. Ella was so excited about all of the decorations, cooking making, and most of all Santa. She has said every day since we put up the tree that Santa is her boy (Lisa calls Ella her best girl...so Ella felt Santa was her best boy ...and daddy of course.) Ella knew what she wanted...a Cinderella castle. This is her passion at the moment...all things princess. Ella's vocabulary is far beyond counting words at this point. She can have a full on conversation (we wish she would slow down this whole growing up thing!) Christmas Eve was spent with our church family, who we are blessed to have. Then home for cookies and watching the Polar Express, which Ella loved. We didn't think she would sleep that night, but we told her unless she went to sleep Santa couldn't come, so sleep she did. The next morning was filled with joy and excitement about opening her gifts. Being the mean mommy and daddy that we are her castle was hidden, and she was devastated when she thought Santa forgot, but then mommy found a note from Santa telling her to check her play room...I've never heard such a squeal of laughter. The next several hours were spent with loved ones, opening presents, eating. laughing and watching Ella have the most fun a 2 year old could have.