Thankful

This year I participated in the "thankful" segments on facebook. Each day I would say what I was most thankful for. This year, what I am MOST thankful for, is that my baby boys are healthy, happy and home. Being pregnant with twins brings on a lot of joy, but even more fear. I didn't know from one day to the next if my health was ok, they were growing appropriately, or when they might come. Thankfully though, I was healthy, the boys had challenges (21 NICU days learning how to eat), but are other wise healthy, and we are all home together safe and sound. I am blessed with three amazing children, and an even more amazing husband. Thankful doesn't even seem the most appropriate word for this year, blessed better summarizes it!

 Aiden-3 mths 3 weeks

 Ella being sassy

Liam 3 months 3 weeks

Not always mom of the year...

This has been a rough week for me. It is my last week at home with the kids before I start back to work Monday, and everyone in the house is feeling the stress. Ella, seems to be the one most affected by this, and I can't say I have been dealing with it in the best way possible. Juggling three kids is not an easy task, especially when two of them are infants who "need you now!!" Between taking care of the babies, work stress for Bill, stress about me going back to work and just general craziness I fear Ella hasn't gotten the attention she also needs, and is showing this by refusing to pee. Tuesday started the craziness, after 13 hours of not going to the potty we ended up at Children's, where they cathed her. Yesterday it took a large slushie from the movies filling her bladder to the point of no return for her to go (16 hours after the cath, with no other potty time in between), and now today, again she has refused to go. I should have told her it's ok, I know she is upset and worried about mommy going back to work. Instead, and I hate saying this, I yelled at her and told her she wouldn't get to go to school if she didn't go. I felt so horrible after saying it, but after a long time thinking about it I realized something. I am not perfect. I am not the perfect wife, mother, daughter, etc. I do what I can and try to do my best, but at times I am going to fail and I can't knock myself down about it. Instead I will apologize to my daughter for yelling at her, and hug her tighter than ever before. I will spend time snuggling, coloring or doing whatever it is she needs to feel like she is getting the love she is so desperately asking for. And next time I will do better. I will praise and love her for how awesome she is, rather than getting upset she didn't go.  If she doesn't go, I know that eventually she will. She can only hold it for so long before her bladder just can't hold anymore. This too shall pass, but at least I am better now for going through it!
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