A mama bear moment....

Yesterday was a rough day....a no good rotten horribly bad day, followed by a great night!

This past week Adeline's reflux showed it's face and has been horrible. She has always been a "spitter," but this week was rattled with crying out in pain, sleeping less than usual and the worse exorcist style, can't breathe during, spit up that I have ever witnessed. So on Thursday we had a visit with our AMAZING pediatrician.  It was determined that it was time to start medications, seeing as her three sibs all needed them as well we weren't surprised. Ella was our first on reflux medications. She started on Zantac, then went to Prilosec ending with Prevacid. Zantac made her throw up non-stop, Prilosec made it so that she couldn't spit when she needed to, which lead to severe pain/crying and constipation. Prevacid was a wonder med for her and when it came time for the twins to be put on meds, we immediately went to Prevacid. Worked amazing for them as well. So this was an easy decision, put her on Prevacid......easy peasy right???? NOPE!!!

Our insurance in all of it's infinite wisdom decided that she didn't need Prevacid. Well they can't really "say" that, but what they did say is that unless we try Zatac (and after 14 days it fails), then Prilosec (again giving it 14 days to see if it will also fail) then they won't cover her Prevacid....Bring on the momma bear moment!

I don't even know WHERE to start with this. My doctor, along with my input, decided that based of family history it was best to start with Prevacid, but our insurance has the ability to refuse to cover a medication prescribed by our DOCTOR, if they feel we should try something else first. I was in shock. They don't know my daughter, they have never examined her or spoke to me about history of our family. Even with my doctor putting in a pre-certification request and explaining why Prevacid was needed they denied it. I can appeal, but that can take a month......

I called insurance basically pleading with them to cover her medications, but the gentlemen (I say this loosely) got rude and condescending with me explaining before I could even speak how he deals with "upset" people daily from 8-5 and that he knows I"m probably "upset," but to remember he has no say....it took a LOT of Grace friends to not tell him where to stick it. Even after requesting to talk to his superior I was told this wasn't an option and I could send in my concerns/complaints in writing.

After numerous calls and begging to get them to help, I was left with the following options:
1) Pay for the meds out of pocket (they are $200 a month and won't count then towards our deductible)
2) Try Zantac and pray it helps/doesn't hurt Addie the way it did Ella
3) Same as #2-only with the Prilosec

How does a parent decide what to do when this is the options given. We can't afford to pay out of pocket for months for her meds, yet I'm terrified to try the other two based of the severe reactions we dealt with with Ella.

After a lot of praying (and crying) and talking with Bill we decided to try the Zantac. With our doctor's support of stopping it immediately if Addie shows any negative reaction to the medication. This decision was made with a lot of thought, but as a momma I'm outraged that I had to even make this decision.

Needless to say I was a angry, emotional mess by the time Bill got home from work. So we loaded up and headed downtown to the Celtic Festival. It's a tradition for us to go, and it helped me step back from the terribly awful no good day and just enjoy some moments of fun with my amazing husband and baby girl (big kids are with Grandma!)

For now I'm praying Zantac helps and doesn't hurt, that we made the right decision, and that a letter sent to our insurance provider will make them rethink how they handled this case.

Six weeks later....appointments and maternity leave

Little miss is six weeks old today...SIX weeks people! I wish I had a magic wand that can slow down time, but I don't. Adeline is happy, unless the reflux is hitting, then she has a temper that is NO JOKE! I call her little, but she really isn't. Wearing three month clothes and covered in rolls....and don't even get me started about her cheeks.....I could kiss them for hours.

Six week check up-This was my first six week check with a new doctor. With previous c-sections the six week check meant a pelvic and pap....this doc did a scar check and chatted to see how I was doing. It wasn't stressful, or uncomfortable, and I am so thankful for that, and for her bringing my little girl safely into the world.

Hitting the six week point also brings for the reality that my maternity leave is flying. I'm so thankful that I have a job that allows me to take off as much time as I have leave saved up for, but I know that so many momma's get no or only six weeks of leave. I can't even imagine leaving her at this point and being back at work. Even though she will be well cared for by her Aunt, the reality is that her momma is not going to be there and I will miss a lot of her first! That....is a hard pill to swallow.

So for now I will cherish every little second I have with her. I will kiss those cheeks a million times, cuddle her close, and try to memorize every minute of it!

The first month...Addie's story continues

We're having a baby....to she's here and has been alive for an entire month....time FLIES!

Finding out we were having our fourth I was excited not only about having another baby, but that this could mean life would slow down. Boy was I wrong!

Addie has had more fun in her first month of life, than I think I did in my first 10 years. She was able to have down time for about four days, then we came home to reality. Her siblings don't stop just because she is here. They need fed, bathed, played with, read to, etc. Ella still has dance every week, we had a photo shoot scheduled, we had a Holiday to celebrate (her 1st 4th of July) and to top it off we went on our first family (us, my in-laws, nieces/nephews) vacation in Gatlinburg.

Addie is a calm, easy going, go with the flow little girl! All I can say is THANK GOD for that. While I healed she slept (a ton). While we watched fireworks, she slept (seriously, through all the noise!) While we traveled she slept (including giving us six hours straight one night) and enjoyed her first swim. She adores tummy time, being snuggled, food and has even started to graces us with one of the cutest little smiles. So far her only dislike is a dirty diaper (perhaps an early sign that potty training will be easy peasy!)

Here's to seeing what the next 11 months have to bring, we can't wait!

And now time for the photo dump!!!!!

Dixie Stampede

Cades Cove

First Family Vacation photo-we suck at selfies!

First Souviner

Those rolls though.....

First zoo trip

Officially one month old...

First smiles

Every Child is a Story Yet to be Told....

Every life is made up of a story...with a beginning, middle and end. This is Adeline's beginning!

November of 2016 we discovered that we were expecting another baby (to our utter surprise.) The next several months were full of planning for the baby, discovering we were expecting a little GIRL, and battling Gestational Diabetes. Having had two prior c-sections, we knew right away that this little one would also come via c-section.

Having had two prior c-sections, this should be a breeze right? I thought it should be. I knew what to expect, but when the morning came I was a mess. I was anxious, both for the surgery, and to meet this newest little person. 

5:30 a.m. on June 14th we arrived at the hospital and I was taken to my room. My nurse Tiffany quickly got my IV in, got me prepped and had me ready to go back to the OR. I was ready, then reality hit and I was sitting on an OR table, alone. Bill wasn't allowed to come in while they did my spinal. As the anesthesiologist went to place my spinal I became very anxious, but Stacy (my OR nurse) came to my side and held my hand. Before long Bill was at my side, and our little girl was on her way. 

At 7:59 a.m., relief occurred as I heard the sweetest sound in the world, a little cry. Adeline Marie Carlin had come into the world, and her story was fully beginning. I was so thankful she was here and doing well, and that I no longer had to be pregnant. 

My last two delivery's had some complications. Ella had a rash and was taken away to the Special Care nursery. The boys being early and small, along with me loosing a large amount of blood, meant they got a quick kiss after being born and then immediately went to the NICU. Knowing this was my last and only chance, I impressed upon staff that I really wanted to have skin to skin as soon as she was born. The anesthesiologist listened and was reminding the nurses in the OR frequently that this was my plan, and to make it happen.

And...it happened. A few quick seconds of oxygen support and then this little, perfect peanut was placed on my chest. I will never forget that moment. Her eyes opening to see me and how she immediately calmed down and snuggled in. I'm grateful she was healthy and that we got to have this moment that I wasn't sure I would get to have.

Our family is now complete. Adeline (Addie) is our last baby and I'm trying to hard to soak up every minute of her little life, and to remember every part of her story along with her siblings. Her story is yet to be told, but I can't wait to see what each chapter will bring......